Nervousness when holding public presentations.
Marc: It doesn't get better. You just stop caring. We're all fools. We're all going to die one day.

How to improve your presentation skills.
Marc: For these situations you need critical friends, and by friends I mean bastards.

Pi: Jag gillar vårat feminist society faktiskt. Det är som en liten gnutta sol i mitt annars--
Pi & Bell: (samtidigt) Molninga liv.

Pi: Jag älskar arga akademiker. De är det bästa som finns.
Bell: (ler stort för första gången på två veckor) Ja men jag är ju det!

Marc: Your work is not copyright protected in Somalia. (...) That's why there are so many pirates.

Transferable skills.
Professor Smith: I am actually able to feed a banana to a child in the back seat while driving.

Professor Smith: I've got a nice big OED sitting on my desk. It's there, gathering dust. It's what's referred to as "shelf candy".

Jane: We're just little wee apes, wandering around, experiencing stuff. (...) In Scotland.

Sophie is holding onto her butterfly hair clip in the wind.
Sophie: I don't want mah 'flies to come off.
Bell: Butterflies!
Sophie: (contemplatively) Flies of the butt.

We need to save money to go to Hungary.
Sophie: I'm gonna have to start eating like a monk.
Bell: Like a monk? What do monks eat?
Sophie: Just water. (...) And Jesus.

The new computer system MyCampus now goes by the nickname MeinKampfus.
Marc: Because it's irrational and inspires hatred.

The university is organising a Health Week.
Guy outside library: Free condoms, fruit, massages and yoghurt! Come one, come all!

Bell: I assure you. If I were to have sex with him, it would be rape.
Sophie: Raped by [name]? Worst rape ever..!

Bell: Zoe..! You still haven't fixed your tap.
Zoe: I know. We need a washer.
Bell: What?
Zoe: A washer.
Bell: What's a washer?
Zoe: We don't know... That's why we can't fix it...

Bell: Why do you suddenly criticise me all the time?
Sophie: It's what I do, it's my thing.
Bell: I don't like your thing.
Sophie: That's what she said.

Sophie: But you are Jewish.
Bell: I'm not though.
Sophie's mum: It's on the wrong side of the family.
Sophie: Yeah, but she's still got Jewish genes, she's still gonna burn in hell.
Sophie's mum: I know I shouldn't have let you go to Catholic school.

Bell: Yay, the smack van's coming. Sells ice cream in the day and heroin at night. No joke.
Jonfen: STILL FUNNY.
Bell: WELCOME TO GLASGOW. WHERE STABBING AND HOSPITALITY GO HAND IN HAND.
Jonfen: ONE HAND FOR STABBING. ONE FOR SHAKING SO WE GET A CLEAN SHOT AT YOUR KIDNEYS.

Professor Smith: It is at this point that we cease to see you as our students, and us as your teachers. We are now colleagues in a shared intellectual endeavour. (...) Except that I get paid.

Sarah: There's nothing like a natural disaster to get you a cheap holiday.

Cakie: Wherever Gay Hitler is, that is where I want to be.

Yiorgos: I think the worst thing I've ever smoked weed from was a life jacket. /.../ It just tasted of mouth and it was fucking horrifying.