Cakie: Wherever Gay Hitler is, that is where I want to be.

Rhona: Yay, girls' party!
Alet: In the toilet.
Rhona: Yeah. Where else does one have a party?
Alet: In the shower?
Rhona: Eh, that's usually a private party.

Rhona: I am good! I have a heart that is pure... Well, it's pure something!

Bell: Paul Anka? Old, fat, rich?
Diarmid: "Old twat bitch"?

Rachael: They're always telling you to "trust in Jesus". But I figure trust is earned, and what has Jesus ever done to earn my trust?

Rachael: See you at eight forty-five, as per usual? As per's?

Corey: It's Irish bean stew.
Bell: I think we reached the conclusion last time they served this that the only Irish thing about it is that it's been regurgitated by a leprechaun.

Bell: Isn't it historically inaccurate to serve Irish bean stew with potatoes?

Bell: This plan is waterproof.
Rachael: You mean watertight.
Bell: No, waterproof. 'Cause I'm approaching it from the outside.

A couple of loud knocks are heard on the window below.
Guy: What are you doing?! (window opens) I've just been to [name]. He was a sleepy bastard. Don't say you're going to sleep too..! (...) You're going to shower? You look fresh! (...) Let me in. Come on, where else am I gonna go? It's raining..!
Some hustle and bustle as he climbs inside.

Glasgow.
Bell: I get the feeling this city is paved with broken glass and dogshit.

Girl: Alright?
Boy: Yeah, not bad.
Girl: Got a new haircut?
Boy: Yeah, got it yesterday.
Girl: Did you get one properly or did you do it yourself?
Boy: I got it properly..!

Rhona: What?! The first action I get in weeks and I don't even notice?!
Boris & Zoe: (critically) Weeks..?

Bell: Thor couldn't really hurt you, all he could do was scare you by making thunder.
Zoe: And hammers.
Bell: Well, hammers that he used to make thunder. It's not like he would strike down upon you with them.
Zoe: He was the humanitarian god.

Zoe: Would you like some chocolate?
Bell: What are those? Buttons?
Zoe: They have magic inside.
Bell: I don't believe in magic.
Zoe: Well, caramel.
Bell: I find that much more plausible.

Zoe: We're going to Spuntini tonight. You are coming please?

Running.
Bell: I watched someone run on television and it was amazing.

Rhona: Did you wash your hair?
Zoe: I did yesterday.
Rhona: It looks good now. It's like meringue, you need to let it set for a day.

Zoe: This tastes like strange.

Bell: I didn't find The Cripple Of Inishmaan very funny.
Diarmid: I did. When cripple boys get beaten up with lead pipes, I can't help but laugh.

Rhona: Properly prepared haggis is wonderful. It just melts... all sheepy in your mouth.